Channeling Jim Morrison...

Trolling for stuff to write about takes time. Whether I'm surfing the web or staring at a blank wall thinking about the need to find something worth musing on, I start on the next week's blog about as soon as I hit "publish" on the one just completed. And I do this weekly. Why once a week? I contribute a portion of my blog to another website on a weekly basis and I need to have my blog updated for the folks who click on through to the other side (to paraphrase Jim Morrison). And...I don't want you to get bored. Although I know in advance I've got to get it done, somehow time seems to slip by way too quickly each week and I wind up scrambling to paste something together at the last minute. I dunno...I guess with three young boys this seems like a metaphor for my life. They keep us so busy that I never seem to have time to complete things before I have to move on to the next. Of course, there is the inevitable "speeding up" of our perception of time as we grow older. I recently heard an interview on NPR as to why this might be.

In the meantime this challenge raises the interesting question of why I do this when I get neither glory nor gold. I'm certainly not the ultimate purveyor of The Very Important Things Every Man Must Know (although it'd be nice). And at this point, my weekly readership is small (but growing as I've figured how to better inform the blogosphere and world that I'm here). I do, however, appreciate those that read (thanks to each and every one of you) and am amazed at those from the far-flung ends of the earth: so far I've had readers from every continent except for Africa and Antarctica. However, stepping into their shoes for a moment I realize that for them, I'M the one from a far-flung corner of the globe. With much in life, it's all a matter of perspective.

As I mentioned in a previous posting I'm going to try and direct to you to far wittier and more knowledgeable people if I can. Case in point, The Savage Truth, which usually has commentary on sports but on occasion Mr. Sheridan strays to other topics that are at least

tangentially connected to sports. I also happen to like The Swell Guy...not too far removed from what I'm trying to do here in The Balanced Guy.  The biggest challenge with trying to be "The Balanced Guy" is that I try and be "fair and balanced" in what I write about and how I write about it...within reason. There's a lot I hold back at times...maybe I should anonymously start a counter blog called "The Unbalanced Guy" where I can lay it out there. But I digress.

So back to why I do this. I read a lot and do a lot and am busy like the rest of you. So I figure I might as well share some of the interesting tidbits of life I come across and distill them down in a single serving once a week for you to partake. Think of me as the animal parent pre-digesting food and then regurgitating it for your consumption. Lovely visual.

I'll close this week's intro with a nod to my father who passed away 2 years ago today (March 3). I'm a bit biased but he was a stud. Two full athletic scholarships to college (lacrosse and soccer), fighter pilot, highly decorated Vietnam combat veteran, a solid father who was always there for us (although maybe not always the most communicative), and the most upstanding, honest and honorable man I've ever known. Here's to you Dad.

The Competitor - Click on the link above (or this one here) to get The Savage Truth about sports. Be warned: this ain't for the faint-hearted or those with delicate ears.

Mr. Muscle - You know, I've got to come up with a better name for this segment. "Mr. Muscle" just sounds way too much like a nickname some guy might have for his johnson. Either that or some late night/early morning infomercial product. By the way - I've seen this pic around the web a few times...this can't be frickin real...at least I hope not. I can't see how it's physiologically possible but if it is, this guy's a freak!

Tasty Licks - In honor of Oscar week (since when did this become a "week"? Almost like Super Bowl Week or the week between Christmas and New Year), and in honor of my home state, I'm selecting the most prominent movies set in New Jersey. A bit of clarification is in order. I tend to consider NJ my home state although I wasn't born here but I've lived here longer than any other one place...which is odd because I've actually lived about half my life south of the Mason-Dixon Line, but not the other half of my life north of it due to living overseas for a few years. Oddly enough, about 1/4 of NJ lies south of that aforementioned line. But I digress...again. So here's the list.

The Toxic Avenger (1984) - This has got to be one of the tops. Funny, funny, funny. Campy too. But why does Jersey always get such a bad name and associated with toxic waste? OK. We've got a lot of Superfund sites but they're concentrated in few towns, counties, ...ok fine...regions. However, the majority of the state is very pretty...really...sweah ta Gawd.

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004) -  Simply very funny and written by two guys from my high school. It's a bit geographically-challenged in that I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have to drive all the way from somewhere in North Jersey to Cherry Hill to find a White Castle. Neil Patrick Harris as a deranged version of himself is one of the highlights of the film. A good Saturday night watch - after the kids are in bed. According to the White Castle website, the closest one to me is in New Brunswick, aka Hub City, despite the movie situation of it being closed down. But it made for good cinema.

The Wedding Singer (1998) - Adam Sandler is pretty funny, although Happy Gilmore is his opus. Having come of age in NJ in the 1980's this movie is almost uncomfortably, painfully funny to watch with regard to the clothes and music.

A Beautiful Mind (2001) - The mostly (so I've heard) true story of John Nash, the brilliant mathematician from Princeton and his battle with mental illness. He actually lives not to far from me here in the Princeton area. If you've ever known someone who has suffered psychologically this can be an emotionally moving movie.

Clerks (1994) - Can't leave out this indie classic with Silent Bob.

Friday the 13th (1980) - One of THE classic teen slasher horror movies, one of the ones that started the genre. I remember the first time I watched it on HBO was a rainy night and we lived on a lake in North Jersey not to far from Greystone Park Psychiatric Hospital. Think I was scared? Nah...more like petrified.

Desperately Seeking Susan (1985) - If you graduated from high school in the mid 80's you probably saw this one on a date. Also one of Madonna's first flicks. It's time to order it from Netflix and watch it with your kids.

Big (1988) - Back when Tom Hanks was a younger man - pun intended.  While the whole movie doesn't take place in NJ, a good chunk of it does. The scene with Hanks telling Elizabeth Perkins that she can spend the night but he gets to be "on top" (the top bunk that is), is still funny 22 years later.


The Godfather Part III (1990) - Hard to go wrong with part of the peerless Godfather trilogy.

I've listed nine movies here. Yes I know there are a lot more set in Jersey (Jersey Girl, Wise Guys, The Wrestler, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Cheaper By The Dozen (the 1950 version), and many others). However, that's why I supplied the link above to a list of movies set in the Garden State. Have at 'em. Yooz got a problem wit dat? Cause if yooz do, I know dis guy...

The Great Outdoors - A good knife. I'm always intrigued by the varied answers people give when posed the following question "If you were stranded on an island what is the one thing you'd want to have with you." Other than a satellite phone to call for help, some of the objects people choose perplex me, others I would give serious consideration to but in the end I always arrive back at the same answer - a knife. Not a butter knife, not a kitchen knife, not even a pocket knife (although useful). I'd want to have an honest-to-goodness survival knife. There's a reason it's called a "survival knife".  I'm not too sure I'd want to be stranded with someone who thinks an iPod is the one object they'd want to have. A water filter is a much better choice, but I can always boil water if need be. And while ideal in terms of providing solace, even a Bible is probably not the best choice in terms of helping you stay alive on a daily basis or if a bear is after you.

Why a knife? There's not much you can't do with a good knife in a pinch. Now it may be cheating a bit in terms of having only one object but on many survival knives the butt end unscrews to reveal a chamber containing a compass, waterproof matches, and fishing line and hooks. Furthermore, there is often a woodsaw crafted along the spine of the knife (the top edge) and the heavy butt can be used as a hammer. The exceptionally heavy blade of a survival knife is useful for prying and even chopping wood if need be.

Even in daily life a well-made, sharp knife is a pleasure to use, especially if you match the knife to your need. I carry a small French peasant's knife made by Opinel around in my front pocket at home and it's amazing how often it comes in handy for this and that. If I'm venturing out and about, I frequently have my Leatherman on my belt. This is one of the greatest all-around tools ever invented - better than a Swiss Army Knife, although it doesn't fit into a pocket quite as well. However a Swiss Army knife is a great starter for your children to learn to safely handle and use a knife. Just make sure you stick with either the Victorinox or Wenger brand; they are the original, licensed makers and there are a lot of cheap knock-offs.

So what's my point? (pun intended) A knife is about one of the handiest tools you can carry around. And while I don't recommend wearing a survival knife to work, a small Swiss Army or lock-blade knife is a terribly handy thing to keep in your desk or car. You never know when you'll be called upon to open up one of those pain-in-the-ass clam-shell packages or free yourself and co-workers from terrorists.

Eye Candy - I just like Kim Kardashian so I'll throw a gratuitous pic of her on here for good measure. Julia Mancuso too. What's not to like about Julia? Olympic gold (2006) and silver (2010) medalist and smokin' hot.