The Russian Alchemist

And away we go!

1. The Competitor - Sports
2. Mr. Muscle - Fitness and Health
3. Your Ride- Cars
4. Greenbacks - Career/Money/Finance
5. Toys - Gadgets (i.e. boys toys)
6. Tasty Licks- Music, Movies, Books and other Entertainment
7. Arguing - Politics
8. The Great Outdoors - hunting, camping, extreme sports
9. WWWD? (What Would Ward Do?...think about it, it'll come to you) - Family
10. Black Socks & Flip-Flops - Personal Appearance
11. Honeydew - Home Improvement/Tools
12. The Wide World - Travel/Vacation
13. Eye Candy

The Competitor - Unless you've been down in a well the last week-and-a-half you no doubt know the Olympics are shaping up to be an America blow-out in terms of the medals race. Still not a sure thing as Germany is only 3 medals behind us (26 to 23 as of this writing). Wondering if you've heard about the platinum medal now being awarded.  As far as news of the weird goes, Russia's Plushenko takes the cake as the whack job of the Games. (OK a total non sequitur here but this friggin' Blog editor keeps changing fonts on me as I type; I'll just correct it when I'm done. It's definitely a squirrely system). So back to that rascally Ruskie. You probably know by now that he bitched and moaned when he won the silver behind America's Evan Lysacek, claiming that because Lysacek didn't do a quad jump, he shouldn't have been awarded the Gold Medal. Never mind that Plushenko received notably lower scores in for his technical execution and artistry. So anyway, to take his life further into the odd (as if skating in a fake muscle suit and thong ain't strange enough) he's now bought himself a first-class, one-way ticket on the weird express by magically "transforming" his Silver Medal into a Platinum Medal, platinum being a more valuable metal than gold. This Russian Alchemist's website was showing it as such. However, when I visited the site while writing this, it appears to have been changed back to "normal". Can you say "sore loser"?

Mr.  Muscle - More than likely you've got antibacterial soap, antibacterial all-purpose cleaners, antibacterial hand sanitizers and who knows what else around your house. Heck, I even received a pair of antimicrobial SOCKS for Christmas this year. All well-in-good. However I've believed for years that this stuff is simply not healthy. Now I'm not a doctor or microbiologist or epidemiologist (I spelled that correctly the first try!), but I don't think it takes a rocket scientist or one of the previously-mentioned professions to realize that when you kill off 99.99% of the "bad bugs" with anti-bacterial products that the  0.01% left over are gonna be the really strong ones that only survive to make more bad bugs that aren't killed off so easily. A recent study backs me up. And it goes hand-in-hand with the folk wisdom that kids who play in the dirt are healthier than those that are too clean. Another study backs up this common-sense knowledge as well. 

Simply put: low-level exposure to germs encountered in daily life appear to help to build our immune systems. Try and stay too clean and sanitized and you run the risk of a weakened immune system trying to fend off super bugs created by using antibacterial products...exactly the opposite effect a hyper-clean person is trying to achieve. 

This effect is even reflected in our culture by the old image of the strapping farm kid contrasted with the weak, sickly rich kid. Prior to the modern era, when most people were raised on farms or out in the country allergies were almost unknown and considered to be a "rich person's disease". Even today, populations in industrialized countries suffer a higher incidence of allergies than those in developing nations.

While the choice is a personal one, we've taken to eliminating antibacterial products in our house. On the other hand, with three young boys in the house, the hyper-clean, don't-let-your-kids-play-in-the-dirt syndrome has never been an issue or even a battle we ever attempted to fight. Our challenge is kicking them outside and making sure they get away from the  screen, go out, and GET DIRTY. 

Greenbacks - If you're like me and most young boys growing up in the 1970's, you were a reader of comic books. Some of us were, and remain, collectors of them. I've still got my collection from when I was a kid and it includes some early-on pieces such as X-Men #26, and The Amazing Spider-Man #3 King Size Special. After the recent news of a near-mint condition copy of Action Comics #1 selling for $1 million, I wish my father had saved his comics from when he was a kid. Published in April 1938, it introduced the world to no less than Superman. And it's no wonder why it sold for a million bucks given what the franchise has been worth over the years not to mention the cultural icon the Man of Steel has become. So, if you've got those old comics lying around you can 1) dig them out of your parent's basement or attic and see if you've got a winner, or 2) dig them out of your parent's basement or attic and give them to me and I'll see if I now have a winner. Who knows? One of us might just be able to retire.

Tasty Licks -  We took the kids to see Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The  Lightning Thief this past Saturday. Definitely a fun Saturday afternoon movie especially if your kids have read the books.  A time-tested premise of a demi-god setting out on a challenge but with the added twist of being set in the modern-day USA.  The special effects are great (but then what CGI isn't good these days?) and the storyline moves along  nicely.

All I can say is  thank God the actress playing Annabeth, Alexandra Daddario, is over 18 (she's 23). It's not clear in the movie what her age is and I was starting to feel a bit odd checking out her curves. No need to worry though if you're wondering if the movie is appropriate for kids ..considering the last movie dealing with ancient Greeks that came out of Tinseltown: 300

Now if you've not seen 300, it's like a live-action comic book that is really gory, has lots of action, is generally pretty cool (if you're a guy) although there is the slightly uncomfortable and somewhat, no make that VERY,  homoerotic nature of a movie about sweaty muscular guys running around in leather diapers. Witness exhibit 1:

If if wasn't for  the smoking hot Lena Headey as Queen  Gorgo, 300 would have to go down on the list with The Village People and Adam Lambert.

The Great Outdoors - are not so great this week.  I don't know about you but I'll take 25 and snowing anytime over 37 and rainy. Ask and ye shall  receive - now they're calling for 12" or so of snow again for our area. Holy crap this weather sucks. However I know that  spring is not too far away at this point...

Honeydew - Do your kitchen chairs squeak and seem to shift underneath you when you sit in them? If you've got wooden chairs there's a good chance, especially if they're older, the glue in the joints has deteriorated. I've got this problem right now with our 30-year old kitchen set we inherited from my parents. Happily, there is a cheap, albeit time-consuming, way to fix it...assuming you've got the time and inclination. Many people would be surprised to learn that most all-wooden furniture has very few metal components, if any. The magic behind its strength is the joinery (the types of joints) and glue. I'm going to go through the repair process briefly. 

In order to fix this problem, the first thing you have to do is take the chair apart. So I set about taking the first of my five chairs apart. This is not that difficult if you have the proper tools and do it carefully. You'll need a deadblow hammer or a rubber mallet, spreaders/clamps and side pliers (there are sometimes a few finish nails here and there that need to be removed). Before you get started, take a careful look at the chair to figure out the best way to take it apart; some pieces will need to be disassembled before others. Additionally, examine all the joinery to ensure there are no metal fasteners. If there are, these will need to be removed prior to knocking the chair apart. Once examined and any metal out of the way, it's a simple matter to use your deadblow hammer or rubber mallet to knock the chair carefully apart. Oh yeah, make sure you label each piece FIRST, indicating which side it came from and the direction it was originally oriented. Mix pieces up and it may be nigh impossible to get your chair back together.

Next you'll have to remove or otherwise clean the old glue off each part. This can be accomplished in a number of ways. With an older piece of furniture it most likely has an animal-based glue and this can be softened using hot water.  Then scrape it off, taking care not to remove any of the wood. Doing so could cause the joint to not fit snugly when reassembling.  Modern glues may require a solvent of some kind, with acetone  or some other adhesive remover being the most commonly used (but be careful as these can damage the finish). I've found that it's a heck of a lot easier to get the old glue off the tenons (the "male" part) than out of the mortises (the "female" part). It just takes patience. There are just WAY too many sexual innuendos I could make at this point, but I'll let you come up with your own.

With the chair now in pieces and parts cleaned it's time to put it back together, assuming there are no broken or missing parts (repair and replacement is a whole other discussion). Just like when pulling the chair apart, think this step through, realizing that some pieces need to go back together before others. You'll need to use a yellow wood glue, my preference being Titebond III. An artist's paintbrush helps to spread the glue around both parts of each joint prior to reassembly. 

Then it's simply a matter of putting it back together one section at a time, clamping it well and letting that section dry for 24 hours before moving onto the next section if necessary. It'll take some time to completely fix a chair, especially if you're doing it in the evenings like I am. But I'm in no real rush and expect it to take me a month or two to disassemble, refinish, and then reassemble all the chairs since I'm doing them one at a time.