Handling the "Restression"

Our current economic woes might be better called a "restresstion" than a recession. Going on for so long, it has certainly caused many people a lot of stress: financially, emotionally, and mentally which can all take a toll physically.

While certainly not the complete solution to managing stress, trying to maintain balance in your life can help stave off problems in the first place. A certain amount of stress is actually healthy (called eustress), distress on the other hand is most certainly unhealthy. So, let's turn to a positive note and "put it up to eleven". Instead of just a few of the various topics I cover each week, I'm going to try and hit all the categories and find ways to help you (or at least me) deal with stress.

The Competitor - I've seen guys get WAY too worked up watching their favorite football/ basketball/baseball/Calvin Ball/disco ball team lose. I mean seriously stressed out about it, way beyond healthy fun. What's a guy to do that loves, loves, loves watching sports? How about this? Try attending a local minor league or college game that really isn't all that important to you. For one thing, ticket and concession prices are usually a lot cheaper compared to major league tickets (less financial stress). It's less crowded (lower people pushing and shoving stress). To top it off, you can usually park close enough that you don't need to buy a plane ticket to get from your car to the arena/field. I remember years ago going to a Durham Bulls game when I lived in NC. It was one of the most fun sporting events I've ever been to. Close to the action, cheap beer, rowdy crowd, drunk women. Does it get any better?

"But why," you ask "would I want to go watch a team I don't care about?" Because it's fun, you still get to see the competition, and being a spectator when you aren't emotionally attached to the team is a whole other ball game (pun intended). And don't think that just because it's not a NCAA Div I, NFL, NBA, MLB, or NHL game that the level of play sucks or the athletes aren't "real competitors". Those folks practice just as much and have all their hearts into it - they just don't happen to have been quite as athletically blessed or as lucky.

________ (the topic formerly known as "Mr. Muscle" but I'm still working on a new title) - Almost goes without saying that exercise helps reduce stress, although the Mayo Clinic says it anyway. The exercise-induced release of endorphins provides you with a major natural high, boosting your mood and fighting off mild symptoms of depression. So if you've not exercised since that office picnic softball game back in '06, it's time to get back in the swing of things. But take it easy at first. As the legal industry has taught everyone even remotely associated with exercise to state "Consult your doctor before beginning any physical fitness program"...so you're supposed to make sure you're fit enough to get fit? Then the more sensible "Start slowly"...build into it. Nothing like the weekend warrior mentality to wind up hurt and so sore that you quit three days after starting because you can't move. Pick something you enjoy doing (duh), and give it a regular slot in your schedule.

Your Ride - Car problems? Fix it yourself and experience some eustress through the satisfaction of successful problem-solving. I picked up a used copy of Saturday Mechanic by Popular Mechanics for $1 at our local library book sale and already have a copy of the Chilton's manual for our minivan (the Chilton's manual for your particular car is a critical part of your tool set). While I'm pretty handy with respect to home repair, my auto mechanic skills are limited to tune-ups, oil changes, brake jobs and the like. However, I'm always willing to learn. Nothing like solving a problem by doing it yourself and saving money in the process.

Greenbacks - this is one of the areas where the restresstion has hit almost everyone the hardest (with the exception of those Wall St and banking execs). Scores of books have been written on this topic in the last few years alone, so I'm not exactly going to be able to provide profound financial and/or career insight and wisdom in a single paragraph. But as a way to provide stress-relief, think of three things you're thankful you are NOT. Such as "I'm thankful I'm not homeless. I'm thankful I'm not living under a repressive regime in a third-world country. I'm thankful I wasn't living in Haiti". It may seem hokey, but counting your blessings for the things you're not, is an amazing way to be thankful for the things you do have. Having trouble paying the bills is stressful, I know; I speak from experience during the course of this recession. But when we step back and think about money and career matters in the grand scheme of things, those problems are nothing compared to being attacked and your family massacred by machete-wielding mobs as happened in Nigeria this past week.

Toys - Want to have a crunchy-granola, New Age experience that is relaxing without being illegal, yet high-tech, at the same time? Check out the Wild Divine website, specifically their product called Journey to the Wild Divine - The Passage. I received this as a Christmas present several years ago and have come back to it time and again as a way to relax. In short, it's a computer game you play using biofeedback: Wearing sensors on your fingers, you meditate to control your breathing and heartbeat causing your energy level to rise or fall as required to move on to the next stage. While the storyline and some of the characters you meet are definitely a bit, no...a lot, New Age-y, the computer graphics are top notch and the original music pretty cool. Don't expect to complete "the journey" in one sitting or even to master the ability to control the your heartbeat the first time out. The meditation exercises become increasingly difficult as you move through the evocative landscape which I would compare to some idealized Tibetan monastery. Regardless, I always end a session feeling greatly relaxed and centered no matter how my day went.

Tasty Licks - No doubt you know by now - and if you don't what the hell is wrong with you? - that one of the best ways to create a relaxing environment is music. While one man's trash is another man's treasure, I think it's safe to say that most people will agree on what makes for relaxing music. At the same time I'm not suggesting you open up iTunes and download John Tesh's latest offering. Not always, but in general I find straight acoustic music over something with lyrics more relaxing as I'm not either consciously or subconsciously trying to sing along or figure out what the words are.

Assuming you have an iPod or other MP3 player, put together a "relax" playlist, turn off the TV, send the kids out to play, and forget about the world for a short time. Some of my favorite music for relaxing is baroque (Vivaldi, Mozart, Chopin, etc), some New Age Celtic stuff (John Doan and John Boswell), Sade, Enigma, classic blues and jazz like Ted Hawkins, Miles Davis and John Coltrane (NOT Kenny G...I had a bad experience with him one time while having an MRI done although I'm not sure I could ever have a good experience with Kenny G regardless of circumstances), and on and on. Chill out and stay cool daddy-o.

Arguing - No doubt at some point you've been frustrated by something going on locally, at the state or national level. You bitch and moan about it, saying "Somebody should do something about it!". Well, now's your chance. Send your elected leaders a letter. Get it off your mind! Even if nothing happens as a result of your actions, simply knowing you took action and spoke your mind is a great way to feel better about it. Here are the websites (and contact info) for The White House, The House of Representatives, The Senate, and a page having links for the main website for each of the 50 states, DC and US territories. And last but not least, a website to find and contact your mayor for many cities in the USA. Do your part as a citizen: speak your mind and remember to always exercise your right - and duty - to vote!

The Great Outdoors - Few things relieve stress like being out in nature (other than time in that "special time" with your woman!). At the end of a hard day or if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, put everything aside, take a deep breath, and take a walk. Get outside. If it's raining, take an umbrella. A walk in the rain can be quite relaxing. If it's sunny...hell, no one needs encouragement to get out on a sunny day. If it's nighttime, look up at the stars and moon. Just get outside.

WWWD? -  Go out of your way to be nice. It'll make you feel good. Helping others is a great way to feel good and reduce stress, especially when they haven't asked for it. You've probably seen the bumper sticker "Commit Random Acts of Kindness"; what you might not have known is that there is a foundation behind it that is "...committed to spreading kindness..." Not a bad way to spend your life running an organization like that when you think about it.

Not that I prowl the streets Boy Scout like and look for old ladies to help across the street, but I do try and go out of my way to help a complete stranger if the opportunity presents itself. I can't say I get a rush out of it but it definitely put a spring in my step afterwards. One of my favorite chances to help someone occurred at the library down in Florida. An older gentleman had a flat tire and I changed it for him. He offered to pay me - which I refused. He then offered to buy me a case of beer - which I refused (reluctantly). He then asked for my name and address - which I gave him. A month or so later he sent me a very nice letter thanking me for helping him. I've kept that letter.

Black Socks and Flip-Flops - Embarrass your kids! My kids have gotten used to seeing me wear black socks and flip-flops - literally. Not that I'm some kind of fashionista or metrosexual, but I do like to look professional and pulled together for work which, on a daily basis, can be somewhat stressful especially if you haven't gotten to the cleaners to pick up your shirts. Thus sometimes when I get home, I really don't care to take off my dress socks simply to put on another pair so that I "match". I'm not going anywhere. It's my house and I'm the king dammit.

I've also gotten to the age where I really don't care if I look cool or whatever when I'm running out to the store to pick up milk or toilet paper or light bulbs. And after 16 years of marriage, it's not exactly like I'm looking to meet some hot babe in the grocery store. I find it incredibly relaxing to more-or-less throw on whatever I find laying around or hanging in the closet, especially if it's one of my favorite ratty old shirts or pair of jeans. What I want to know is where this guy got a pink Darth Vader helmet. This outfit is SO bad that's it's really cool. I particularly like the Hello Kitty touch. Finally, while North Korea is a whacked out country, ya gotta give props to Kim Jong-il for clearly not giving a shit about what anyone thinks of his sense of style or lack thereof.

 

Honeydew - I'll keep this one short (like the aforementioned dictator). End the personal shame and stress you feel each time you pull into your driveway. We're a week and a half away from the start of Spring for crying out loud! Make the commitment to go out this weekend and finally take down those outdoor Christmas lights.

The Wide World - It seems like many times in life it's the undiscovered spots (and not the "great ones" filled with tourists) which turned out really special and have stuck with me as places where all my cares have slipped away. It's probably because they are not only beautiful but quiet and unfettered by tramping feet of another busload of grey-hairs snapping pics or screaming, sticky kids. These special places can be natural or man-made, but they are places where you simply relax and escape. I've come across a few in my travels across the US, Europe and the South Pacific. In the Republic of Ireland's County Donegal, not far from my great-grandparents' village is The Poisoned Glen. Wild, empty and forbidding, the name itself conjures up magic. It was a cool, windswept July afternoon when I was there and encountered not another soul. I left physically tired from hiking the mountains, yet spiritually refreshed.

Taking things to the other extreme is Burp Castle in NYC. My wife and I chanced upon it about 15 years ago when wandering around the Village. Just down the street from the famed McSorley's, it seemed intriguing enough to venture in. A quiet and small place heavy with incense and signs indicating that whispering only, not talking, was allowed. Behind the bar stood a man dressed like Friar Tuck ready to take our beer order. A superb selection of Belgian ales, compelling murals on the walls, and an unusual atmosphere offered an escape from a busy day in the city. Like most of those special places we come across in our lives, it was a chance find; certainly not a destination.

Eye Candy -In keeping with the theme of restression relief, I've selected this comely hippy chick for your viewing pleasure to close out this peaceful sojourn.