With 3 boys and having been a Cub Scout Den Leader for 4 years, I like to think I have a pretty good handle on dealing with boys...and probably kids in general* but note the asterisk as the whole "girl thing" no doubt has subtleties of which I've woefully ignorant. But I do have a sister, so I'm hoping that helps a bit. This being said, I'll go out on a limb and claim to know what kids, especially boys, like. I can tick off a few pretty easily - Legos, toy guns (or anything that can be used as a toy gun, like a stick), video games, fire, cartoons, miscellaneous sports, and generally anything they're not supposed to touch (such as my tools).

It's the ones they are not supposed to touch that can be a bit dicey. Take, for instance, knives. We all know they are shiny and sharp - or should be sharp since a dull knife is far more dangerous than a sharp one (at least to yourself). So why in the world would you give one to an 8-year-old kid? Because, surprisingly, they are probably ready for it. "What!!??" you say (I can already hear the "helicopter parents" clambering to hurry their brood indoors and lawyers rushing to string me up). First and foremost - a pocket knife is a tool, not a weapon. I've carried one for years and it's come in handy more times than I can count. However I've yet to use it to shank someone.

I figure if as respected an institution as the Boy Scouts of America, which has been figuring out the "boy thing" for literally 100 years, is ok with 8-year-olds having pocket knives than you should be too. No joke. When they are in 3rd grade, Cub Scouts as part of their passage to earning the Bear Badge, can also earn the coveted "Whittling Chip" badge. Successful completion of its requirements earns them the right to carry a pocket knife at Scouting functions and events. The safety rules they have to learn and training they receive in handling and caring for a knife work very well as far as I've experienced. It's not as though you're handing out 10" military survival knives to the kids; I'm talking a basic Swiss Army or Boy Scout pocket knife. Nor completely unsupervised either.

I'll admit I probably have gotten almost as much pleasure presenting each of my sons with their first pocket knife as they got in receiving it. The way their eyes lit up you can tell they felt very important getting it. It shows you trust them, think they are growing up and creates a bond between you. Granted, as their parent, you have to carefully think about not only if you are comfortable with them having a pocket knife, but if they are ready for the responsibility. Clearly not all 8-year-olds are created alike. Nor are all parents - no doubt there are those who will claim the child might take the knife to school and be expelled, etc. However, this would be a failure of the parent, not the child. Clearly laying down the rules is critical and you even keeping the knife except in certain supervised situations is always an option.

Admittedly, by the time I was 8, I had a knife and BB gun, both of which I'd pack up with a lunch and take off with my friends to disappear for the day into the woods and fields near our house. We never got into any trouble, nor suffered any terrible injuries. It was a rite of passage as well as a relatively harmless way to learn about risk management.

Here are a few links about selecting an appropriate pocket knife for a child and knife safety for children:

http://www.akti.org/education/teach-children-knife-safety

http://www.ebladestore.com/blog/topic/my-first-pocket-knife/

http://www.ehow.com/about_6328516_pocket-knife-safety-kids.html

And here's a Q&A forum where someone made a post about possibly getting a pocket knife for an 8-year-old girl. Personally I find the majority of the replies to be pretty paranoid; one of the responders won't even let their 13-year-old son have one.

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/schoolaged/gifts.html  

And, in my opinion, the link below is a quite silly response on Yahoo Q&A about the appropriate age for a child to have a pocket knife. For some reason the "best answer" chosen was at no age since "...there is no need for a child to carry a weapon". I've carried a pocket knife for years and have never used it as a weapon. Make sure you click on the + sign next to "Other answers". At least it's nice to know there are other sensibly-minded people who recognize a pocket knife for what it is - a tool (a useful one at that), and anyone who thinks otherwise has obviously never carried one.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100921050548AADZocE

I can't rant

So...we all try to continually learn as we go through life (at least I hope everyone does). Anyway, I've been reading some other blogs to see other people's writing style, their voice, their tone. AND I realized that while I've been informative, maybe I've been a bit too dry (can you say "b-o-r-i-n-g"?). Comes from all that god-awful report writing I've been doing at work all these years. So I'll try to be a little less

One blog I definitely recommend is "Sheridan" written by a friend of mine from high school. He has a biting wit and knows more about professional sports than most of the staff at ESPN or Sports Illustrated. For the most part I'm going to insert a link to his blog in my sports commentary section. But be warned, his writing ain't for the faint of heart or delicate ears. I dunno. I just don't have it in me to rant about something. Bitch yes. Rant no - especially in a readable, funny way....definitely a talent.

On to some Balanced Guy stuff. I try to raise my kids to be good, honest, straight-up, considerate people (and I'd better change the "I" to "we" or my wife will kill me) - emphasis on considerate. Clearly not everyone makes the same effort. A week or so ago I'm at my son's swim team practice doing some paperwork up in the stands. Now being this is in NJ in the winter, I'm in a natatorium...in which the slightest sound is massively amplified and echoed all over the damn place. I'm down at the far end of the stands away from the other parents and these two little boys - around 7 and maybe 4 - are running back and forth in front of me. No problem. Then they decide to stop and play right in front of me and the 4 year old starts letting out these high-pitched screams, telling his brother "NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!" This definitely ain't kosher so I ask them to go play down by their parents.

Not even a minute later the mom comes down and asks me what the problem is...so I tell her "I have three kids of my own so I understand them. I simply asked your kids to move down the other end if they were going to scream and be loud, I'm trying to get some work done." She walks away. About one more minute goes by and now the husband waddles down and, with a chip on his fat shoulder, asks me "What's the problem here?" At this point I'm thinking to myself "You've got to be kidding me". So I tell him the same thing. He responds "This is a pool. It's loud." To which I reply "True but I'm trying to get work done and your children are screaming 4 feet in front of me. I simply asked them to move down by you if they were going to scream." He started to protest but I turned my head back to my work and ignored him. He stood there for another moment, then turned and stalked off. Douchebag. I'm thinking "WHAT...THE...F**K?" This couple's kids are screaming and running around and I simply asked them to play down by their parents and not by me. I don't get some people.

Tasty Licks - I have no idea how in God's name in New Jersey pizza chains like Papa Johns, Domino's, and Pizza Hut actually make money, let alone the owners not be run out of town on a rail (more of this in a moment). It baffles me why anyone would want to eat ketchup-on-cardboard when we've got the best freakin' pizza in the country here! Of course, a sure way to start a lively argument in Joisey is to claim one local pizza joint has better pizza than another. So let's start an argument. Feel free to tell me I know nothing about pizza. I'm no food critic but I know of two pretty damn good places in the area and I don't give a s**t you if you think they suck- I like them...but am always willing to try new ones. My local favs are Conte's Pizza on Witherspoon St in Princeton. Great atmosphere and people watching. Gotta love that they serve pitchers of beer too. But going there I get the feeling the place used to be a VFW or Elks hall. It has that big, open feeling to it...but I like it. Definitely old school. Try the garlic pizza.

Another great, very local place is Al Jon's Pizza & Sub Shop in Princeton Junction on 571 not too far from the train station. It's in a 1960-70's strip mall, has wonderfully awful interior decorating, lots of pictures and posters of Italy and futball teams. There's usually a soccer game on TV with the announcer screaming in Italian which blends in perfectly with the kitchen and counter staff yelling at each other in Italian...now THAT'S a pizza joint.

So about being ridden out of town on a rail - used to be done, literally, in Colonial times to those who had garnered the displeasure of the community. Often after being tarred and feather. Not a bad idea... entertainment for the whole family!

WWWD? My 3 boys have all been involved in Scouting; the youngest two still are while my oldest simply spends too much time at swim practice to do much else. Nevertheless, I'm hopeful that at least one of the two will make it to Eagle Scout. That's no small feat. Only about 2% of all Boy Scouts achieve that rank. Before chuckling and thinking "That's for geeks and nerds", consider this - upon attaining that lofty height a young man joins an elite brotherhood with such illustrious members as: Hank Aaron, Neil Armstrong, Michael Bloomberg, Bill Bradley, Stephen Breyer (U.S. Supreme Court Justice), Gerald Ford, Robert Gates (Secretary of Defense), Dick Gephardt, William Hanna (think Hanna-Barbera cartoons), Henry Paulson, Ross Perot, Frederick Reines (Nobel Prize winner in Physics), Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs), Donald Rumsfeld, Harrison Salisburyn (Pulitzer Prize winner), Steven Spielberg, Sam Walton, Gen. William Westmoreland and about a jillion (actually about 2 million) other generals, admirals, astronauts, members of Congress, CEOs and other leaders in their field not to mention at least 7 Medal of Honor recipients.

It's about the only accomplishment attained in high school that a man carries forward on his resume for the remainder of his life, short of becoming an Olympian before turning 18. It carries certain privileges (and expectations) later in life - Eagle Scouts who enlist in the Armed Forces may receive advanced rank; having it on your resume almost always results in an automatic job interview if the company CEO is an Eagle Scout (and a lot of them are); The National Eagle Scout Association is comprised of men who earned the rank and is a chance to rub elbows on equal footing with government and business leaders from across the nation. Not only am I convinced it portends potential greatness in a young man, it can also open doors.

I myself have been involved in the organization as a Cub Scout and Webelo although I never made it to Boy Scouts. Most importantly I've been a Cub Scout Den Leader for a few years and have found - like many things - I've gotten far more out of it than I have put in (which is actually quite a bit). It's a great chance to spend time with your son actually doing things where you both learn something about the world around you, yourself and each other. As a Den Leader, I've been able to be a positive male influence (I hope) to boys who's father wasn't around. It's been a chance to take boys out from in front of the TV, video games and computer, instead introducing a whole new generation to the outdoors, sports, museums, tools, fishing, BB guns, and community service - by the way, you have no idea just how BIG of a deal BB guns are to a bunch of 8-12 year old boys until you get them on the range at Scout camp. It's huge. No - it's beyond huge. It's Nirvana.

So I encourage you to get your son (and yourself) involved in Scouting. Visit the Boy Scouts of America website, click on "Find Your Local Council" along the top, and enter your zip code. I know the day one, or both, of my Scouts becomes an Eagle Scout will be one of the proudest in my life.